This blog is an uncensored look into my soul. I am writing this as part of my healing process, but am leaving it public so others can follow me through my journey.

If you'd like to start from the beginning, click on the beautiful, adorable picture of Hailey on the right hand column.

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Friday, November 27, 2009

My Little Tinkerbell!!!

For those of you who have been reading my blog since the start, you'll probably remember that we chose to carry a little monkey with us to represent Hailey.  Well, I've officially changed the symbol!!!!  We will now be representating our little Hailey with Tinkerbell.  Let me explain why.

First off, I'm not much of a Disney fan myself.  It's not that I don't like Disney, but honestly I don't really care much for it.  None of the characters have really made an impression on me, except for Tinkerbell.  I think fairies are so pure and adorable and I've always loved Tinkerbell...even more now!  Before Hailey passed away we watched the movie Tinkerbell and I was telling the girls that I would describe Heaven to look just like Pixie Hollow.  It was so gorgeous and magical!  

After Hailey passed away I saw a little figurine of Tinkerbell standing with her arms folded and a little scowl on her face.  It instantly reminded me of Hailey!!!  She did absolutely love life, but I need to be real here and say that she did scowl at me often!!!  Anyways, it struck me how much my little Hailey was just like Tinkerbell.  She had the blonde hair, big blue eyes, skinny little body, and total pixie attitude!!!  Now she also lives in Heaven, which is what I consider to be Pixie Hollow.  And I can totally see her flying her little wings from her little Pixie Hollow down here to the "Mainland" to spread her silver pixie dust (or dimes in my case)!!!

So that's the scoop.  Plus I do have to admit that I think Tinkerbell is much cuter than a monkey!!!  So now when you see a family picture with Tinkerbell in it, you'll know that's our little Hailey!


  1. I don't really even know how to start writing to someone that you don't even know and not sound like a crazy person. So I guess I'll just start by telling you that I'm a blogstalker. I've been thinking about trying to find some sort Blogstalking Anonymous meetings or something but tonight, in finding your blog, I finally realized why I kept searching. I was searching for something that I didn't even know I was looking for and I found it in your beautiful words written with so much love. I lost my sister 6 years ago and for some reason the last couple of months, the pain of missing her has become almost unbearable. I've been trying so hard to figure out why now. Why, after so much time has passed, would I be so consumed with grief much like the days following her passing? I am also LDS and I thought that I had a strong testimony. I do have a strong testimony about so many things but lately the hole that my grief has opened up in my heart has been filled with doubts. Then...I "stumbled" upon your blog. I haven't felt the spirit this strong for such a long time that it overwhelmes me. I don't usually comment. Like I said before, I don't want to look like a crazy person. For some reason tonight my heart connected with your words and I COULD NOT rest until I took the opportunity to tell you (in a non-crazy way) how grateful I am to have found your light when the place my soul was in was so dark. I cannot imagine nor will I ever pretend to ever know the depth of your loss. However, I can attest to the blessings you give others by sharing your story. I love your honesty. I love that you don't pretend that everything is ok. I love that I can read your posts and connect with them. So thank you so very much for helping me find a foothold to start climbing the mountain of grief that stands before me. The story of your sweet Lexi kissing sweet Haileys hand brought me to tears because that is exactly what I did with my sweet sister. Thank you so, so much. Angie in Idaho

  2. Oh I can literallyl visualize what you described. Hailey is probably thinking "Mom nailed it"!

  3. i think that is absolutely perfect, wendy. hailey IS tinkerbell - i can totally see it! :) and the imagery of pixie hollow as heaven? really perfection - i'll bet lexi loves that.

    and wow - i love angie's comments here. i am amazed at how many people you and hailey are touching. love you!!

  4. That is adorable! I also wanted to share with you, I came across 3 dimes over this holiday weekend! I think of you every time I see them! I hope you and your family had a wonderful Thanksgiving.