This blog is an uncensored look into my soul. I am writing this as part of my healing process, but am leaving it public so others can follow me through my journey.

If you'd like to start from the beginning, click on the beautiful, adorable picture of Hailey on the right hand column.

You can also email me at:

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

We Can Live With God Again

As I watched this video on a friend's Facebook page, I couldn't help but cry my eyes out.  It is so beautiful. 

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Another Angel in Heaven

My Grandmother died this morning.  It's interesting the different perspective it brings when you already have someone so close to you there in Heaven.  I have such faith and immense belief in the fact that when we "die" it's literally just our body that stops working.  Actually, I don't just have faith, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that life goes on after we leave this Earth.  That being said, I've been thinking all day about what my grandma is doing up there in Heaven.  

It's so real to me that I imagine her as alive as if she were sitting in her apartment in Boston.  Really the only difference is that I can't call and talk to her or visit her whenever I want.  Unfortunately, that's kind of a big difference and even the faith and knowledge that I have doesn't take away my sadness to see her go.  I'm really going to miss her.

I read a book called, The Message, right after Hailey died that gave me such peace and comfort in regards to where she is.  It's written by a man named Lance Richardson who spent three months in a drug induced coma. During that time he left his body several times and visited the Spirit World.  The book is his account of what it's like there and what he learned.  Of course, not everyone will find this believable which is totally fine with me.  I will say, though, that I believe it 100%.  It follows exactly what my religious beliefs tell me is true, not to mention, that he gives several experiences that really can't be disputed.  (For example, he went and watched his children in their classrooms and upon waking up from his coma he was able to describe exactly what they were wearing, where they sat, and what questions they asked.)  That's enough for me to believe, and honestly, if for some reason I'm wrong it's okay with me because it gave me the comfort I needed in this lifetime!

Anyways, as I've been thinking of my Grandma and her reunion with her family members who have died before her - in particular, Hailey - I can't help but feel the joy in her soul to finally be out of her 94-year old body and free for the intense pain she's felt for so many years!  I decided to look back through the book for some comfort and here is one passage that I read:  

"I watched numerous people pass through that veil while I was there.  It was most enjoyable.  I witnessed an elderly woman whose family anticipated her arrival.  They were jumping up and down excitedly, as if waiting for a loved one to come off an airplane. ... Upon seeing the group, the woman's expression turned to one of absolute splendor."

"The group began to walk away together.  "They are going to where a family celebration has been planned," Randy explained."  (Randy is Lance's cousin who passed away 20 years prior.) 

I could quote this entire book!  It is seriously one of the best and most exciting (if you will) books I have ever read in my lifetime!  It gave me so much hope and peace when Hailey died.  I highly recommend everyone check it out...even if you're not a believer, it's still very interesting. 

Anyways, selfishly I wish my grandma were still here, as I also do Hailey, but unselfishly I think they are so lucky to be where they are.  They are even more a part of our lives from there than if they were physically back here on Earth. I seriously look forward to the day when I get to go be with them again and check out that Spirit World, or Paradise, as we often call it.

My Grandma meeting Joey for the first time, a week before she died.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The aMAYZing Kids Clinic

An aMAYZing thing happened last weekend...yes, the pun was intended!!!  Before I go any further, I'm going to attach the two articles that were in the paper for you to review:  (Make sure to click on the photos in the articles.)

Now, assuming you read the articles you already know what that aMAYZing thing was!!  Our clinic is finally open!  It has taken Sean and Hailey's therapists over a year of extremely hard work and dedication to get to this point, but it has paid off!!  I am so proud of them!

I often go and volunteer on Wednesday's when my mother comes down to watch my kiddos.  It is such a wonderful experience.  I really wish I could work there full-time because I feel Hailey's spirit so strongly there.  It is such an awesome place to be!!!

Since I'm only able to be there once a week, I haven't really seen any children be treated until just recently.  A couple of weeks ago I sat in the office listening to the therapists work with these special kids and my eyes welled in tears over the sheer joy it brought to my heart.  I remembered so vividly all the times I heard them say the exact same things to my sweet Hailey.  It was such a beautiful thing.  After listening for a little while, I couldn't help myself so I peeked around the corner and watched for a few minutes.  It may sound odd, but it was so exciting to see the pride on the children's faces when they were successful at a task and heard, "Good Job!  You did it!"  I was right back there with Hailey all over again.

The thought of us being able to help other children and give them the same sense of pride and increased quality of life Hailey has is one of the most exciting things I've ever experienced in my entire lifetime!  The therapists that worked with her, and now helped create aMAYZing Kids, are among the very best...not just at what they do, but at who they are.  These woman love their job, along with the children they work with, and it shows every time they are with a child.  I will be forever grateful and indebted to them for what they did for Hailey and even more so, for how much the loved and still love her.

I want to extend a special and heartfelt thank you to all those who have supported us in this venture.  aMAYZing Kids would not be possible without all the volunteers and donations we have received.  It is so overwhelming to me how much my daughter was and is loved!

I could have NEVER imagined, 2 years ago, that what I thought was a tragedy in the sudden death of my baby girl, would in fact become a huge triumph and blessing to so many.  I know she is proud!

For more information on aMAYZing Kids, please check out our website at: