This blog is an uncensored look into my soul. I am writing this as part of my healing process, but am leaving it public so others can follow me through my journey.

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

On My Way...

Now that there’s a new break in my grieving process and I'm in a whole new phase, I’ll probably be blogging a lot more regularly again, therefore I'm not going to update it on my Facebook page every time.  So, if you're interested in following this new turn of events, please check back regularly. 

I can’t even begin to express my gratitude and the newfound strength I feel after all your supportive comments.   I think that the last thing I need right now is advice and the first thing I need is validation and justification, which is what you’ve all given to me.  Gosh, I am so blessed with the most amazing people in my life, every single one of you! 

Today I saw my therapist and feel so much better, although I’m also very cautious.  These feelings seem to come in ridiculous waves, and hit hard at times, but I’ll take whatever peace and comfort I can get for as little or as long as I can get it.  As she said, I will slowly start to notice the wavelengths getting wider and wider in between.  She gave me some great strategies on how to manage these emotions, mainly the anger I feel and help to push through it.

For those of you who are wondering what strategies I’m talking about, or who need some ideas themselves, the one thing she told me that I think will help the most is to embrace the feelings I have, not feel guilty about them, but accept them, allow them full force, and journal them.  Not just for my blog, but a whole separate writing for my eyes only that is very candid and 100% brutally honest. The anger needs somewhere to go, so she said to get it out by writing exactly how I feel even if my thoughts seems absolutely horrible.  Then, when I’m finished shred it or delete it forever, but most importantly, get it out…every single thought and feeling.  She also suggested screaming and yelling and punching pillows, etc.  I’m not so sure that’s quite my style, especially with kids home, but who knows maybe during Ava’s naptime! 

I think the journaling will be my best bet at this point because I already know how much better I feel just blogging.  Anyways, that’s the scoop as of today.  Check back tomorrow.

1 comment:

  1. I kept a journal at during a difficult & angry time in my life and it really helped. When I finally felt ready, I had a bonfire in my fireplace all by myself and burned the journal. It made me feel so free and I felt all my negative emotions go away as my journal burned. I hope it helps you as much as it did me!