I know it’s been a while since I’ve last written, but this summer has been so busy! Not that I’ve forgotten Hailey or my blog…I actually have a whole list of things I need to write about to catch up, so I decided to finally get started.
Hailey’s 2nd “Heavenly Birthday” was August 11th and it actually turned out to be a nice day. It started off a little shaky because I couldn’t help but keep reminding myself that it’s been an entire 2 years, 24 months, 104 weeks, 730 days, 17,520 hours, 1,051,200 minutes, and 63,072,000 seconds since I last physically hugged, kissed, or heard my little girl laugh. But the good news is that I did really well at not reviewing the events of that horrible day over and over again in my head. I did think of it a couple times, but then reminded myself that Hailey would not want me remembering her in death, but only in life. Not to mention, that I knew it would do me absolutely no good. That’s one of the reasons I’m so glad I started my blog because I have it all written down so I don’t feel the need to continually review everything over and over and over again out of fear of forgetting. If I ever need to be reminded, I can go back and read what I’ve written…which, by the way, I still have not done out of pure terror at what difficult emotion it might bring back.
I did have a really cool experience that day, though, that I wanted to share with you all! That morning we went and had frozen yogurt at Hailey’s Place. I brought her a side of strawberries because every time we’d get frozen yogurt she would literally say about a hundred times, “Mommy, no ‘i keem,’ just stawbewwy…no ‘i keem,’ just stawbewwy.” So I would always get her two big sides of strawberries instead of yogurt. The weather could not have been more perfect and her place more serene. I felt like I was experiencing a little slice of Heaven while sitting there visiting her.
Later that evening my family and I went to dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings because they were having a fundraiser for Hailey’s Foundation. What better way to celebrate her life than by going to dinner and making money to help other children in her honor? As we were there I quietly asked her to send me a dime so I would know that she had a “beau’ful” day and was there with us. It was already about 7:00pm so I knew there weren’t many chances to find one, but I also had faith that she’d come through for me. I scanned the restaurant and the parking lot as we left but found nothing.
While at dinner, my friend asked me if I wanted to go to the movies with her. It wasn’t a movie I was dying to see, but I thought it would be a good distraction. When we arrived at the theater it was around 8:30pm so the parking lot was packed. We decided to park a few rows away and walk instead of driving around for hours looking for a parking spot. She randomly picked a spot where there were no other cars and parked. I opened the door, stepped out and right at the tip of my foot was a dime shining in the light, tails up! Of all the spots we could have parked, we just happened upon the one with the dime right there! I couldn’t believe it!! My sweet Hailey heard me and was there. I can’t even describe the smile that put on my face and the joy in my heart.
After 2 years, she is still just as much here as when she first left us! I know she will always be nearby looking out for us and keeping in touch by sending her little tokens of love…a dime, tails up!